Made Just for Me One Direction Zerrie
by Abby Live
Summary: After One Direction's rise to fame, Zayn and Perrie's relationship has been put through the test. Will they last?
1. Completely Fallen: Perrie

"Perrie!" He yelled as I ran up the stairs. I hid in mock terror and heard footsteps creep closer toward the closet where I'm hiding. The light streamed through the gap underneath the door. I slowly breathed in and out so he wouldn't be able to hear me.

"C'mon Perrie, we've done it before." Zayn coxed. I pushed myself towards the back of the closet's wall, concealing myself with the numerous coats and jackets. "Perrie!" he said again," I know where you are…either you come out or I'll make you." I smiled to myself; he will never be able to find me. Not in a million year-

The closet door swung open and sunlight flooded around me. Shit, how'd he do that? He smirked down at me; I was all curled up like a child hiding from his friends. Looking back, I probably looked completely ridiculous. "Found you!" He exclaimed like a child who just gotten free candy, he then rushed to tickle me, squeals of laughter soon escaped my mouth and bounced off the walls like everything would be completely normal.

"You cheated." I protested and stuck my tongue out at him. I cherished moments like these, when we could act like a regular couple who weren't international pop stars. Sometimes I think to myself, what if we WERE a regular couple? Would we be just as strong 'cause of living under the radar, away from the world?

He abruptly stopped and noticed that I wasn't laughing anymore. "Perrie, why'd you hide?" his deep brown eyes looked absolutely torn.

I bit my lip. I couldn't let him know…almost every single tweet directed to me in the past week were hate messages rather than Mixers saying that they supported us. One really scared me, a rabid Zayn fan-girl sent me a pic of me going into my car and said "I know where you live." That really creeped me out, even though it was an old picture. I shook my head. He tried pressing on it. "C'mon Perrie, you can tell me."

"I can't do it." I confessed, and slid back onto the floor. I curled up my knees up and put my head on them. I trembled in pain for a bit. I just couldn't take it anymore; this wasn't what I signed up for…then again I should've expected all of this. It just hit me really hard right then, that this was my life, and that there was no escaping it. Tears soon streamed down my face, leaving stains on my sweats.

In an instant, any walls that Zayn built up crumbled down. I felt a hand touch my knee, he knelt down beside me and gently asked," What do you mean by that?"

"It's just that I don't think I can do this anymore!"

His expression softened and simply asked," Who said you were going to go through this alone?"

"So Perrie," the rather peppy interviewer said," You are an international pop star, who obviously has little time to relax. How do you and Zayn manage to stay in a relationship when you two are both touring the world?" She had a thick French accent and I could barely understand her. I mentally groaned in my head. Honestly, I can't stand these types of questions because it's more focused on ME rather than all of Little Mix. Jade shot me a reassuring look while Jesy rolled her eyes jokingly.

The studio lights were rather blinding, and I don't like having cameras thrown in my face. So naturally I hated TV interviews. I briefly closed my eyes and imagined Zayn being here, right next to me. I could almost smell his favorite cologne. I took a deep breath and replied," Like all couples, we have some problems, and one is being away from each other. But Zayn and I are a bit different than most teenagers; we send letters to each other." I smiled to myself. I could faintly remember when Zayn sent me the first one. It was in a plain envelope, nothing special on the outside…but when I opened it, a simple note inside said 'I'll be right beside you'. And inside was a small necklace with a locket and a little key charm, he told me later that it was because I was the only one that held the key to his heart.

"Aww!" the interviewer said. "That's so sweet of him." I smiled back, hoping that she wouldn't press any more questions about- "But about half a year ago, a whole scandal exploded about him cheating on you with a waitress…however both of you vaguely answered anything about this. What do you have to say to that? And how did that affect your relationship?" I tensed up a bit; management made sure that nothing about Zayn cheating on me. I glanced back at Sara, who was supposed to make sure nothing like that would ever happen. She looked more than ticked off and stormed out to find that interviewer's manager. We were under strict rules regarding Zayn and I. We were allowed to talk about our relationship getting better, nothing about what happened in January.

I breathed in quickly, we were on live television and there was no way I could avoid this. "We went through a bit of a rough patch earlier in the year." I responded," But I can honestly say that we will always stick together forever."

"Thanks for that insight Perrie." she said again," Well, we'll have a quick commercial break. Then after that we'll have a live performance of change your life by the one and only Little Mix."

Once the cameras stopped rolling, I went straight up to her and asked," What the bloody hell do you think you are!?"

She was appalled," I'm sorry, but the viewers sent me the questions and…"

At that moment, Sara stormed in with an older man, presumably her manager. "I'm telling you, this wasn't part of the agreement." Sara shouted," We specifically said that none of the girls' relationships would be mentioned in this interview. Under no circumstances was this supposed to happen. What am I supposed to say to Simon!?"

"I dunno…" he awkwardly stuttered," I'm so sorry about this whole thing."

"Well sorry's not going to cut it, you're lucky if you won't get sued for not following this contract." She retorted back. She turned to the interviewer and yelled," I don't know who the fuck you are but I'm going to make sure that your sorry ass will get fired."

"I'm so sorry about-"she started but Sara interrupted her. "No, you aren't sorry. You just want my clients to be under the damn media spotlight again so your news channel would get more attention. Well I got news for you bitch, SYCO records won't be working with you again." Every word shot of Sara's mouth were almost as colorful as Niall's rather vibrant language. The girls and I awkwardly exchanged looks while Sara used more curse words than we thought existed.

Jade went over to Sara," Look, Perrie handled it perfectly fine. Can we just go on with the interview?"

"Of course," she said, running her fingers through her hair. "We can't have Paris thinking that we're just a bunch of bitches who think they can do whatever the fuck we want in life, can we?" She said that staring directly at the poor interviewer whose news broadcasting career was most likely over. "Well girls, we should get ready for your performance."

"Hey, Perrie. Are you alright? We're going to be on in about fifteen minutes. Everyone is looking for you." Jade said as she sat down next to me. I was sitting down absentmindedly staring at my microphone. We were still in Paris but Zayn vaguely responded to my texts.

"Just a bit of thinking." I murmured and quickly shook my head. "Nothing that really matters though."

Jade smirked," We both know that you're hiding something. Seriously what's wrong?"

"I'm perfectly fine….i just can't put it into words…" I mumbled.

Jade sighed and rolled her eyes," Perrie, I know when you need to say something. Spill now."

"I just miss him so much." I confessed. Tears cascaded down my cheeks like a dam was breaking due to a huge flood. I started trembling and buried my head in her shoulder. "I can't even express how much I want him to be here even though I know that he's probably recording right now. Does that sound selfish? Is it bad that I want him to be here?"

Jade ruefully smiled," No, it's not Perrie. Missing someone that you really love is perfectly natural." Jade patted my knee. "You're truly in love. That's why it's so hard being without him."

"Thanks Jade," I replied as I wiped my eyes. I opened my locket, to see Zayn smiling back at me. Never in my life have I wanted him to be here.


	2. No More Goodbyes: Zayn

**Note: go listen to Faber Drive's You and I Tonight while reading this...it will help a lot. :)**

**xx**

*three weeks earlier*

"Well boys," Paul announced," You'll be able to actually have some free time today 'cause the radio station flooded or had some rat infestation." It's sadly typical that no one really cares about what happens to what happened to any place where we're supposed to have an interview.

"Yay!" Niall exclaimed," I'm gonna get some sleep." And he literally went straight to his room that he shared with Harry. There wasn't any doubt in my mind that he wasn't lying about that. Poor guy, touring really tired us all out but Niall was the most affected by it.

The rest of us dispersed into what we'd usually do on our few days off. Liam headed down to have a twit-cam and Harry went to go and work on one of his songs for the new album. We've been working our bums off this summer and we deserved a break, even though it would only last a day.

"So Malik," Louis asked," Where are you going?"

I shrugged, "I don't know. Probably going to finally beat Liam in Call-of-Duty, I might go to sleep, or eat. I don't really care."

His face lighted with excitement," Hey do you want to go shopping? I mean, it's been a while since I've been in an actual shop and not have a huge mob surround me." I grinned. Louis was probably one of the most avid shoppers I knew, and that's including girls.

"Sure why not, but I doubt Paul would let us go…" I trailed off thinking about how protective they were of us. "You know how they are."

Louis smirked," You my friend, have yet to master the art of persuasion. Wait for about five minutes and we'll be in the van." Surprisingly he was right, Paul reluctantly agreed to most of Louis's argument. As long as we wore some weird computer chips in our beanies and if we wore 'disguises', the mall was ours to explore.

Once in the van, he didn't hesitate to say 'I told you so'. I just shook my head. Louis could be a bit annoying at times.

"Well," he retorted," I just have to get these new shoes that Armani just released, maybe I could wear them to the red carpet sometime soon. Do we have a red carpet event sometime soon?"

I absentmindedly stared out the window as Louis rambled on about all the stuff he would buy if we had the room to fit everything in our bags. Then the first notes of an acoustic guitar caught my attention. I held my breath as the first few lyrics danced out of the stereo.

**Tonight, a candle lights the room**

** Tonight, it's only me and you**

** Your skin, like gravity**

** Is pulling every part of me**

** I fall, you and I collide**

I bit my lip. I never realized how much I missed Perrie. I could faintly remember how she smelt like, how she laughed at one of my corny jokes… I closed my eyes. I never realized how much I would give up nearly anything to be with her right now, to live with the content of knowing that no one would ever want to love her more than I do.

**What if I stay forever?**

** What if there's no goodbye?**

** Frozen for a moment here in time, yeah.**

I closed my eyes and tried to think what Perrie was doing right now. Probably at a concert getting ready…I couldn't stop thinking about what would happen if we were just a normal couple. To live out of the spotlight and to not care about what others thought of us- now that was an idealistic world. I want to make sure that she was mine. I had to make sure of that. There was no 'if' about it. I just…had to.

** If you tell me the sky is falling,**

** Or say that the stars collide,**

** The only thing that matters in my life,**

** Is you and I tonight**

"Hey Zayn," Louis said impatiently," Did you not hear me?"

I quickly shook my head, did I accidentally zone out on him? "Umm…no, sorry 'bout that Tommo." I murmured," Can you say that again?"

He sighed," I swear sometimes, I don't know if you're daydreaming or just plain dense."

"I'm not dense. I just have selective-hearing." I shot back.

He rolled his eyes," I was saying that maybe you should help me pick something out for Eleanor…lately the fans have been hard on her and-"

I patted his shoulder," Don't worry Tommo, I got your back."

Once the van stopped, Paul nervously said," Ok, guys…if you get mobbed or recognized just say that you look a lot like yourselves. I personally don't want to deal with any paperwork and let alone deal with Katie right now." We earnestly agreed. No one liked Katie, our manager who was basically our babysitter of our babysitter, Paul.

When we got inside I felt completely free…except for the fact that we both wore chips in our sweatshirts and that management could tap into the security cameras if they really wanted to. Louis made a mad dash towards the men's shoe wear when I decided to browse the 'young men's' section. I mindlessly flipped through the racks of graphic tees and hoodies that I knew I would never wear if I bought them. I was never really a shopper to be honest. I guess I never found the appeal for any of it. I remember that my mum would always drag me to shops for school. I shook my head at that memory…since then I've been shopping more with Louis than with my mum because of touring.

"Zayn!" Louis nearly screamed from the other side of the shop. "What do you think!?" He proudly thrust a pair of shoes in my face. I didn't know what to say about the actual shoes but I knew how to manipulate him to leave the store.

"Hmm…yep, they look fabulous." I commented.

His eyes lit up like a Christmas tree in a December night. "I know right, and they're 'buy one get the second one half off'! You have to help me get another pair."

I groaned; this didn't go out to plan. After about another half hour and two salesladies getting mad at him for trying to get the best deal he could possibly get (which is rather ironic, him being in one of the most famous boy-bands yet he couldn't weasel his way to get three pairs of shoes), we were wandering again with Louis balancing three bags.

"I can't believe that lady almost kicked me out." He fumed," I mean, why would she kick me, Louis fucking Tomlinson, out of a shop?"

I sighed," Because no one can know that you are Louis…remember that huge lecture that Paul gave us."

"Right, right." He mumbled and turned his head, his eyes soon fell upon another shop. I had to turn to see what he was looking at. It was called 'Forever Jewels' and was a rather quaint jewelry shop that I knew Perrie would absolutely adore.

"Hey, can we stop there real fast? Maybe I can get something for El, you know how she goes through fits of missing me…right?" He explained.

"Yeah, sure…why not?" I replied as we went in. The store inside was very homely and less provoking than most jewelry stores that had scary professionals that try to force you to buy something. This one seemed warm and inviting. It could easily be mistaken for a generic café if there weren't any glass boxes filled with necklaces and rings.

"Can I help you two sirs today?" a posh voice echoed from the back of the room. The door creaked open and a young sales lady stepped out. She walked to us and gave us brisk smile. She was probably in her early twenties, a college student maybe. Hopefully she would be able to deal with Louis.

"Yes of course," Louis said," I'm looking for something for my girlfriend."

She curtly nodded. "Right this way sir." She professionally chirped and they walked off toward the other end of the showroom. I shook my head, wait till she had to deal with Louis and his shopping attitude that meant everyone else was his peasants and he was the king.

I wandered my way over to browse the display cases. They mostly contained weird hipster earrings that no one would like. I chuckled a bit when I saw a pair of bacon earrings. My eyes gazed past the earring section and landed to where the rings were kept.

I was somehow drawn over there, like something was there…waiting for me. I gazed into the dim lights and saw glittering diamonds stare back at me. I really love Perrie, and she knows it…what if I could make sure that she was mine forever? Then I couldn't worry about some other guy trying to take her heart, when she already took mine. At that moment, I knew I had to propose to Perrie.

"Umm…hi there." A voice called me, pulling me back into reality. I glanced up, another saleslady was standing behind the display case. "Would you like to check our selection out?"

"Yeah, I don't really know much about shopping." I said. I don't know how to actually pick out a ring, let alone make sure it was perfect for her…I was going to need all the help

I could get.

She smiled, like she could read my thoughts," So, what's your girl like?"

"Wait, what?" I asked.

She laughed a bit and explained," It's apparent that you're in love and looking for an engagement ring. If I knew more about her then it'd be easier to pick out a ring."

I grinned," Well, she's just…perfect. She makes me smile whenever I'm sad. She has the most amazing sense of humor. She completes me."

"She sounds amazing." She said. "Do you have anything you like so far?" Then we looked through endless amount of rings. Some were too 'glamorous' and some were just plain weird. I even saw a bacon shaped band. I sensed that she was getting a bit frustrated with me because she started having a more sarcastic tone with me than before. But I couldn't help it, I had no idea what would be perfect.

"Hey, what are you looking at?" Louis startled me and I jumped a bit. I glanced down at the numerous rings on the surface and tried to block his view.

"Erm…nothing." I mumbled. He lowered his sunglasses and gave me a very sarcastic look.

He scoffed," I know you're looking for something-" Then his mouth fell open when he saw all the rings. "Shit, Zayn….you're finally proposing!"

"Well, he would be able to propose if he finally chooses a ring." The saleslady sarcastically remarked through her teeth.

He laughed a bit. "Here, let me help. Zayn, let the master help. You don't want anything too flashy or homely."

He looked through the glass, examining every single detail. It took a while but after a bit of searching, he eventually found the one. The lady seemed relieved when she finally totaled up the price. But Louis's expression didn't change a bit since we left the store. I couldn't' read it at all. I decided not to press him on anything till we got to the van.

"You're safe!" Paul exclaimed when we got inside the vehicle. "I was about to go inside. What took you two so long?"

"Well Zayn here had a bit of a decision making process over some things…things that I'd like to talk to him privately about."

Paul instantly became a bit worried but retreated to his seat in the front. Once he closed the little window, I asked," Lou, what's up?"

He shook his head. "I can't believe it…"

"Believe what?" I grew more and more concerned as he thought about what he should say.

"I mean…you proposing to Perrie. It's a big step, I'm really happy for you, man."

"Erm….thanks. So glad that you have so much faith in my relationship with Perrie."

Louis's face softened," No…I didn't mean it like that. It's just that I didn't realize how much we grown up since we got put together since X-Factor. When we first met you were so shy…oh, and by the way have you asked Debbie or Alex yet?"

"About asking for permission to propose to her? Well…"

Louis gasped," You have to ask them sometime soon! You have the fucking ring already!"

"Yeah, I'll get to that soon…" I murmured and felt my pocket to make sure that it was still there. I didn't know how to ask them just yet.

The rest of the boys didn't know about the ring, thank goodness. I didn't know where to hide it at first but ended up tucking it away in Perrie's beanie that I 'borrowed' for the tour. We only had a few weeks left in America, and then we'd have a much needed break till we had to go to Australia and finish the Take Me Home tour. But the last day in California involved the Teen Choice Awards, and we had to perform for them. I always hated these award shows. I mean, it wasn't like the Brits, the producers didn't even count the amount of votes. We were already informed on how many surfboards we were getting a week before it even got publicity! Basically we had to go through 24 hours of complete bull to be able to finally be back at home.

"Well, lads…" Louis started," This is finally the last of our American tour."

"I liked it," Niall interjected.

Louis rolled his eyes," Yeah, I meant by finally that we would be able to get some rest and-"

"Well you didn't say that." Harry said as he defended Niall. "Maybe you should clarify next time."

"Harry, most of the time you were sleeping or hanging out with someone." Louis protested.

I groaned. Lately we've gotten on each other nerves. "Guys," I started," I know that we're all tired and aren't really pissed at one another. Can we just try to endure the stupid award show and get out?"

"Zayn has a point." Liam said," We should probably just smile it through."

"Like every other bloody day we go through." Harry murmured.

He was right, ever since we've hit number 1 we've had to endure things normal teenagers wouldn't have to face. Like screaming girls writing fanfiction about a five-way 'adult slumber party' that we had every once in a while when we all get incredibly horny and can't stop fucking each other, that alone is scary enough. We've all been changed by fame, but it probably hit Harry the worst because of his supposed 'man-whore' relations with every girl he meets. He one of the sweetest guys I have ever met and I can't stand to read reports of rumors of things that he wouldn't dare do.

"Well we're here," Liam said, pulling me out of my daydream. The van abruptly stopped as mad flashes of light surrounded us.

The camera flashes shot at us like we were mere animals and they were the hunters, trying to trap their quarry. In the distance I saw other celebrities shy away from them, trying to not feel helpless under the public eye. I didn't feel like backing down, never again. I bravely looked straight at them. One photographer seemed to hesitate and put down his weapon. I smiled; I wasn't afraid anymore.

"So Zayn," Alex asked," Why did you want to come over and see Debbie and I?" I glanced down at my cup of tea. Alex was a bit intimidating with his I'm-such-a-bad-ass-even-though-I'm-over-forty attitude, so much for not caring about what other people thought of me. The quaint furniture didn't quite fit the atmosphere I was in.

"I wanted to talk to you guys about Perrie." I managed to say. I uneasily shifted in my seat. Alex's facial expression changed a bit, what did that mean?

Debbie smiled," What is it, dear?"

Well, I already got the ring. And what's the worst they could say is what, no? "As you already know, I absolutely adore-wait, that's not even the best word for it, I love Perrie with all my heart."

Debbie was confused. She made a face that I knew Perrie and Debbie shared when they don't know what I was talking about. "That's great Zayn, and you wanted to inform us of this because…?"

I weakly smiled," I wanted to ask for permission to propose to your daughter." I bit my lip and instantly prepared for the worst. Would they yell at me for not being 'experienced' enough, or would they just throw me out for cheating on her recently?

But Alex beamed and Debbie chuckled. "It's about time you asked, son." Alex said.

This caught me by surprise. I nearly choked on my tea but managed to mask it with a cough. "Wait-what do you mean?"

"Perrie's been really stressed because of touring and well-everything." Debbie explained," But whenever she's with you it's like all her pain has flown away. She's always smiling whenever she's near you. She really cares about you." I smiled at that last thought. I didn't know that they noticed.

"And you're not angry or anything?" I asked.

Alex scoffed," Zayn, why would we be angry? I have nothing against you, nor does Debbie. Unless of course you cheat on my little girl again, which will mean that someone's face will get punched and he would be beaten severely." He smiled at the end, making me wonder if he was joking or dead serious. I didn't know what to say to that, it completely hit me off guard.

"So do you have the ring?" Debbie asked trying to avert the conversation.

"I do," I replied and reached into my pocket. My fingers found its box and soon diamonds glittered in the room. Debbie whipped a tear from her face. "What's wrong?" I asked.

"I'm just happy that she's in love with you." She clarified.

"I am too."

Paul was the one to drop me off at my house. Everyone else but Liam could drive themselves, so at least I wasn't the only one who was dependent on him to drive me everywhere. The outskirts of London flew past my window. It was good to be home.

When we got to the house, I couldn't believe it. I was finally going to have some alone time with Perrie. Not that the sparse weeks of free time that we had over the tour wasn't good enough. But it was a luxury to wake up in the morning and not have to leave for work a plane flight away, and I wouldn't be able to fly to London as often when we go touring in Australia. That would be hard to face, but absence makes the heart grow fonder.

I could faintly see Perrie's outline through our window. She seemed like she was playing with Hatchi and his toy. I smiled. Sometimes I think that she might love him more than me. Once she saw the van stop she immediately started running out the door. Hatchi followed suit. I carefully got out only to be crashed into by her. She wrapped her arms around me and snuggled against my chest. "Zayn, I missed you so much!" she murmured.

"I missed you more." I replied and lifted her chin and gave her a kiss.

Hatchi saw that no one was giving him any attention started barking his little head off. "Aww…" Perrie remarked," Someone missed Daddy."

He barked as I held him up to my face and started cuddling him and said," Oh who's a good boy? Who was a good boy when Daddy was gone? Yes you are. Yes, you are!"

Then we heard someone clear their throat. It was Paul carrying one of my bags from the trunk. "I hate to break this special reunion with you and your dog but you have quite a bit of luggage we need to attend to."

I could feel my cheeks redden as Perrie started laughing. "Sorry 'bout that, Paul." I awkwardly carried Hatchi in one arm and struggled with a bag.

Paul laughed. "You should probably put the dog down before you help me with this." He gestured to my luggage in the back.

"I'll take him inside." Perrie said as she grabbed him out of my arms," I'll get dinner ready."

"Thanks Perrie." I murmured and gave her a quick peck on the lips before I turned my attention to the massive challenge ahead, which was to unpack everything.

A few days after I came home, Perrie and I have been hanging out more often. I had a few radio interviews here and there but other than that we had the world to ourselves. I loved waking up next to her every morning and not have to text her every waking moment to know if she was ok because she was right beside me. It's nice not having the world watch your every move. To be able to smile and not have an image of it the next day on Tumblr is a luxury that won't last forever, but I wasn't going to take any of it for granted.

Over dinner Perrie asked," Why are you staring at me?" She had her confused face on. I blinked my eyes a few times. I was thinking about proposing to her tonight. The ring seemed to burn in my pocket and sweat was probably running down my face. Her parents already said yes, I already arranged for the guitar player who 'just happened to be out there' and literally every tiny detail. All I had to do was ask four little words. I haven't been more nervous in my life.

"Sorry, love. I must've zoned out…"

"You were thinking about something…is there anything wrong with your family?" she asked, her eyebrows crumpled together in concern.

I quickly shook my head. "No, nothing like that. I just really missed you."

She grinned; the worried expression disappeared from her face. "Zaynie, you've told me that for the past few days. I know that by now."

I looked down at my food and smiled. " I'm glad that you do." Once we were done and she was getting ready to put the dishes away, I knew I had to ask. It was now or never. "Do you want to go for a little walk? It's a really nice evening."

"But Zayn, the dishes…"

I smiled," The dishes can wait."

She put down her dishrag and smirked back at me. "So where to, Prince Charming?"

"I was thinking down by the wharf, if we hurry we can catch the sunset." Thank goodness she didn't catch on to anything.

"That sounds great." She replied. She reached for my hand, hers fit perfectly in my embrace. Like we were made for each other. Through everything we managed to stay together. We walked out the door and into the cool evening.

It was peaceful out on the little wharf. The worn wooden boards creaked under our feet. We passed an elderly couple who nodded a hello to us. They seemed to be married for a long time, but they stayed together through it all. The crisp sea breeze carried the faint guitar notes of the musician. He was playing the song that Louis and I had heard only weeks ago.

**Tonight, a candle lights the room**

** Tonight, it's only me and you**

** Your skin, like gravity**

** Is pulling every part of me**

** I fall, you and I collide**

"Perrie, can I ask you a question?"

She turned to me in surprise. "Yes?"

I breathed in, trying to steady myself. "What if we didn't meet on X-Factor?"

She shrugged," I guess I will never have met you. Sadly I think I would have gone on and had a normal life, a normal job. So typically normal, but if we didn't meet we wouldn't have to go through so many goodbyes." Her lower lip trembled. I knew about how much hate she'd gone through the past year. I held her hand as she vomited after reading the 'Zux' fan-fiction. I was and will always be there for her. I wanted her to me mine and mine alone.

**What if I stay forever?**

** What if there's no goodbye?**

** Frozen for a moment here in time, yeah.**

**If you tell me the sky is falling,**

** Or say that the stars collide,**

** The only thing that matters in my life,**

** Is you and I tonight**

"What if we didn't have to go through anymore goodbyes?"

She turned to me. "What do you mean?"

I held both of her hands in mine. "I hate waking up every day not knowing if you're ok or not. I've heard of stories about people who kept searching all of their lives for their true love. But I guess I'm lucky 'cause I already found mine."

I knelt on the dock, the Thames River rushing directly below me. Perrie covered her mouth in surprise. I pulled the ring and opened it so that the diamonds glimmered in the last hints of daylight.

"Perrie Louise Edwards, I absolutely love you. I would do anything to protect you and I can't stand not being able to be by your side every day. I don't want to say anymore goodbyes to you. Will you marry me?" Her tears in her eyes shone brighter than the diamonds on the ring. I was certain on what her next few words would be.


	3. Our Version of Events: Perrie

Our Version of Events: Perrie

How could this moment get any better? The view of the Thames River on the dock was simply beautiful. Sweet music danced over our heads. And there I was, hand in hand with the love of my life. Zayn. At that moment, I could swear that it was perfect.

The sunset hit the river, casting its rays against the water. Sunsets were rare in London being that it was typically rainy and cloudy most of the time. Like little happy moments in life when you don't have a single care in the world, sunsets are precious and meant to be shared with the ones you love.

Zayn disrupted the peace. "Perrie, can I ask you something?"

I was surprised. "Yes?" We stopped on the edge of the wharf and leaned our elbows against the railing.

"What if we didn't meet on the X-Factor?" he asked.

I looked down at the rushing water beneath us. Our distorted image reflected on the waters. The future of us is just as shaky as the image. Any outside factor could have changed it. Everything still can. What would've happened if we didn't meet? I bit my lip. I hated whenever I think about 'what if'. But I already knew the answer.

"I guess I will never have met you. Sadly I think I would have gone on and had a normal life, a normal job. So typically normal, but if we didn't meet we wouldn't have to go through so many goodbyes." A miniature tear fell down my cheek and into the crystal clear waters, destroying our reflection temporarily.

Goodbyes were the worst. I remember when he officially left for the North America part of the tour. The airplane terminal was filled with so many bustling people, in a hurry to get to their flights. But it seemed like it was only us in there. Everyone else seemed to fade into the background. I refused to talk to him on the ride there. He held both of his hands in mine, his enclosing mine almost completely. Everyone else didn't care. It was like it was only me and him in the terminal.

"Perrie," he said and he lifted my chin so I could see into his face. "I'm already there, where ever you are. Don't worry about me. I'll be fine." I instantly broke down into tears and buried my face into his. I couldn't deal with this anymore. But whenever we have to say goodbye I always break down in tears.

I could barely choke out a few words. "I love you, Zayn."

"I love you too." He answered back. Then he noticed the time, his flight was ready to depart.

"I got to go, love. See you in your dreams." He whispered and Sara had to hold be me back as he departed away.

I cried non-stop that night. That was only a few months ago. I tried to distract myself with caring for Hatchi and work but my thoughts always drifted to him. No matter what I did, I could feel him wherever I went…even when he was miles away.

"What if we didn't have to go through anymore goodbyes?" he asked, bringing me back to the present.

I was surprised," What do you mean?"

His eyes sparkled in the light. He turned to face me and held both of my hands in front of me. "I hate waking up every day not knowing if you're ok or not. I've heard of stories about people who kept searching all of their lives for their true love. But I guess I'm lucky 'cause I already found mine." He smiled at my confusion.

Then he knelt on the dock, his eyes never losing contact. My heart raced and I could feel my face blush. Was he really-? He reached into his pocket and pulled out an engagement ring. Its diamonds shone as bright as a lighthouse on a stormy night. I covered my mouth before I could squeal in delight. I was so surprised that I nearly started to hyperventilate.

"Perrie Louise Edwards, I absolutely love you. I would do anything to protect you and I can't stand not being able to be by your side every day. I don't want to say anymore goodbyes to you. Will you marry me?"

'Will you marry me?' Four simple words, those words would change my life forever. I was caught way off guard. But I knew what my answer was, and never regretted it since.

"Yes." I exclaimed and started crying. I couldn't believe it. He wanted to show the world that we would never be unfaithful to each other. He wanted to show the paparazzi up that we weren't too young. It wasn't just a puppy love, it was ours. He wanted it all. And I wanted the same.

Through my tears, I saw that his face was flooded with relief. He carefully slipped the ring onto my finger and kissed me. I couldn't stop shaking. I still couldn't believe what was going on.

"I love you." Zayn promised. "Forever and always, I'll be with you."

Hand in hand, we started making our way back home. In the corner of my eye, I could see the elderly couple on the other side of the dock just shaking their heads. I could faintly hear their words.

"Just another young couple thinking that they could conquer the world," The wife murmured to her husband. "Remember when we were like that?"

He smiled," We still are like that…just you and me against the world." They both laughed and kissed. I smiled, hopefully we would be able to grow old together like them.

A few days later, we knew we had to tell management. I didn't want to but you have to tell your boss if you got engaged. And if your finance was idolized by millions of fan-girls everywhere, it's also essential that you tell them immediately.

The atmosphere of Modest Management's office was daunting and artificial. If you made a mistake, it would be remembered by Ms. David, our publicity manager. The employees seemed to be too timid to even do their jobs. Zayn and I were sitting on one of their waiting chairs outside her office like little children getting caught for fighting. I squirmed in my seat. I didn't want to know what would happen to us. They could make us do is postpone the engagement and make me not wear the ring in public. Or they could….I quickly shook my head. I didn't want to think of the worst.

"Zayn and Perrie?" an intern called from down the hall. "She's ready for you now."

Zayn and I exchanged anxious looks. Whatever happened next couldn't break us apart. Nothing ever will again. Ms. David's office wasn't any more relaxed than outside. There weren't any decorations of any kind, no cheap desk toys, no posters, and no pictures of family. Everything was exactly the way she wanted it to be -perfect.

"Hello Zayn, Perrie." She said from her seat at the desk. "You can go sit there." She gestured to the two chairs arranged directly in front of her stern glare. We both moved like helpless puppets, controlled by unseen hands, to those chairs. I brushed a lock of hair out of my eyes. Zayn's hands were shaking. They always did whenever he got nervous.

"So," she said," What are you to here for? Normally I don't have any problems with you two." She opened her laptop and started typing away like she had better things to do than the actual people she served.

As much as I hated how blunt Katie was, she did have a point. No one really gave us problems that management had to deal with. Well, except for the creepy Zayn girls who thought that they would have his children. We weren't as scrutinized by the paparazzi like Harry or Niall. Zayn is naturally quiet so no one seemed to notice.

"Yeah, Perrie and I had something to tell you." Zayn started," I proposed a few days ago." I smiled, as if my new ring wasn't obvious enough. I inhaled deeply, holding my breath. She abruptly stopped typing and looked over her laptop.

"What?" she asked in confusion, her eyes glowing from the LCD lights from her computer.

I took a deep breath. "Zayn proposed to me and I said yes."

She turned to us "OH. Congratulations you two. Margaret! I need another cup of coffee."

The abused intern poked her head in. "Right away, Ms. David."

Both Zayn and I exchanged weird looks. Was she really not care that we were now engaged?

"Come again?" Zayn asked.

She rolled her eyes. " What did you two expect? Me to get all pissed at you two for taking the next step? I hate that you guys think that I'm the bad guy. Would you want some champagne or some cake to celebrate?" That last bit was pure sarcasm, yet another reason why I didn't like her.

"I'm sorry," I said," So you don't really care about it?"

She smiled, which was faker than the plastic flowers outside. "You two know by now how your relationships affect your fans. I trust that you will be able to handle it. I'll have to pull a few strings with our publicity team and the tabloids to make sure the ring doesn't get spotted until the time is ripe." Margaret walked in with a steaming cup of coffee and quickly handed it to Katie. She took a sip and immediately spit it out.

"This tastes like piss. What did you put in it? Get me a new one!" She yelled.

"I'm so terribly sorry." Margaret apologized and retreated out of the office.

She glanced back at us, "Well, I don't think that you have anything else you need to tell me. Unless you also want me to plan the wedding, which will be very unlikely."

I clutched at Zayn's arm as we got up. "Thanks for everything, Katie." I said as we awkwardly backed out of the door. I was so relieved that she was alright with the engagement. Hopefully everything else would be less nerve-racking than that.

It was the early morning when I woke up. The light streamed through the blinds and decorated the room with its rays. My eyes refused to open but I managed to get up. My view blurred as I looked around. I was pinned down by Zayn's arm, nearly suffocating in the sheets.

"Zayn." I groggily mumbled under my breath. I glanced at the time, it was 9:23.

"Shit! " I exclaimed.

Sara was going to pick me up at 9:45 so the girls and I would go to V-Fest. I jumped out of bed and started dressing. I was frantically adding a bit of make-up when Zayn opened one eye.

"Perrie?" he asked. "What are you doing up?"

I closed my mascara and said," Sara's picking me up in a few minutes and I just have to be ready…"

"Oh fuck, it's V-Fest." He rubbed his eyes. "You know I'm not going 'cause well…you know. I have to do…stuff." He sleepily gurgled. Yeah, a day filled with sleeping.

I rolled my eyes. "I'll be fine. Love you." I heard a car honk as I rushed over to kiss him. "I gotta run." He shook his head and closed his eyes for another trip down dreamland.

The car honked again. My blood pounded in my chest as I started running as fast as I could. I nearly tripped over Hatchi as I ran over and out the door. In one motion, the door flew open. The crisp morning air hit me directly in the face as a waking call. I hopped into the van with Sara and Jade, Jesy and Leigh-Anne.

"Morning, sunshine!" Jade exclaimed as I entered the car.

Sara poked her head from the front. "Hello, Perrie." Then she turned to the driver. "That's all of them we're picking up." The car engine roared and we were on our way.

"Hey guys." I yawned, instantly covering my mouth with my hand. Jade's mouth dropped in surprise. Her eyes bulged out like they were so surprised they just wanted to leap out of their sockets. I looked down at the glimmering diamonds on my left hand. Oh good Lord.

"Is that…" Jesy started.

I smiled," It's going to take a while to explain."

She clapped her hands in excitement. "Oh my goodness is that really?"

Leigh-Anne removed her earbuds," What's all this commotion-"She stopped when she saw my ring. "Oh my God, is that what I think it is?"

"It's my engagement ring."

She let out an over-excited squeal and wrapped her arms around me. I couldn't breathe until she let me go. "I can't believe it! I mean, I'm so happy for you two! Oh my goodness gracious when did he propose?"

"He asked last weekend during a walk that we took. It was just…amazing." I couldn't stop smiling as I told them.

"Hey, what's this fuss all about?" Sara asked from her seat in the front.

Jade explained," Perrie just told us that she and Zayn are getting married!"

"Well, not immediately. There's no rush…" I interjected. I didn't even think of the wedding yet.

"Oh yeah, Ms. David told me about it yesterday." She said monotonously.

Jesy gasped. "Why didn't you tell us in the car?"

"Well I thought that it would be more appropriate for Perrie to say it herself. And I didn't want to spoil the surprise." She defended herself.

Jade playfully stuck out her tongue at her. Leigh-Anne rolled her eyes and tuned us out again with her music while the rest of us talked about what V-Fest would be like.

They say that when animals are faced with a predator that they could both run and wait for it to be over, or to stand up and fight. As bright flashes of light surrounded me, I knew that I couldn't hide any longer. It was hard enough trying to stay out of the tabloids cameras, but to conceal my ring at the premiere would be impossible.

The publicity team worked with Zayn and me about when we should reveal that we were engaged. And with the premiere coming up, they thought it would be a good idea to do so. Zayn agreed immediately, he didn't want to put it off any longer. But I was nervous to see so many fans be disappointed that Zayn was no longer available. They did so much for them and I didn't want to see their faces crushed that their dream of having Zayn's children would cease to exist.

Last night, I couldn't sleep at all. I couldn't. I was too anxious happen and kept pacing the room like a trapped lion. "Perrie." Zayn called from the bed.

I sighed. "I know I shouldn't be worrying about this. I mean, I can only imagine what you might be going through. I just can't." I plopped down on the bed, my face landing in the pillows.

"Perrie, it's alright darlin'." He whispered. "Everything will be fine. The publicity team will take care of the tabloids and all we have to do is be there and enjoy it."

A small tear managed to escape my right eye. He embraced me and I slowly started crying. "I'm so sorry, Zayn." I murmured into his pajamas. "I just can't deal with all the stress at the moment."

He gently brushed a lock of hair away from my eyes. "You can't deal with all of it yourself. Just lay your problems on me. I'm right here for you."

Now I wanted him more than ever. I had to arrive with Jade and Leigh-Anne in our own little car. Everything had to go as management said it would or our 'announcement' would be compromised.

As we stepped out onto the red carpet I shook my head. I couldn't believe it. Screams of fans seemed to surround us while flashes from cameras appeared to pop out of nowhere. Teams of news reporters attached to celebrities, bombarding them with annoying questions about the boys and how they thought the movie would go. It was utter chaos. Obviously management had it 'all under control'. I shook my head and smiled to myself. Katie probably was on her last nerve trying to orchestrate the whole event to her will, only to have it be controlled by the press.

I looked to the other girls. Everyone but Jesy came along with me because she had a family emergency. Usually she was the rock that we could all depend on and without her here, I felt a bit lost. "It'll be alright, Perrie." Leigh-Anne assured me as we saw our first reporter coming to us.

Jade smiled. "Yeah, we got your back."

I nervously shook my head and anxiously twisted my ring. Where was Zay5 n? His car was supposed to be only a few minutes after ours.

"Hi girls," a peppy interviewer said, startling me.

We all smiled, or at least I looked like I was happy to see her. "Hi."

"If you don't mind I have a few questions to ask." She started and then threw questions at us like there was no tomorrow. Flashes were everywhere and the crowd seemed to close in as she rambled on. I could only do my best to answer them. But in my head could only think of him.

"So Perrie, how are you and Zayn going? And are you excited about the premiere?" she asked.

"We're pretty good and very happy." I answered politely. "And personally, I only seen bits of it so I can't wait till we watch it."

"Now, do you get any special privileges being Zayn's girlfriend?" I tried to hide my disgust. Why can't the reporters ask about something not about Zayn?

"No, not at all." I started to say but her attention diverted into apparently something more interesting than us. Screams around us got louder as a gray van arrived at the foot of the red carpet. I couldn't hold back my smile. They were here. In the midst of the crowd and the chaos, I could see a familiar figure emerge from a black sedan. Zayn.

I immediately rushed to go see him but Leigh-Anne held me back. "You know he has a bunch of interviews right now. You're going to wait."

"But I want to see him!" I protested and tried to weasel out of her grip.

"Perrie." Jade warned. "You've seen each other this morning already."

"Fine." I gave in and made a face to both of them. Jade just shook her head. Soon another reporter replaced the last one who ditched us. Mostly Jade and Leigh-Anne talked so I wouldn't have to. Normally, I'm the one who's keeping the interview going but not today. I kept looking over my shoulder, searching in the crowd for Zayn.

It was thirty minutes of posing and random questions till Zayn finally reached me.

He whispered in my ear," Are you ready? It's show time."Our hands found each other and fit perfectly.

"How are you holding up?" I asked.

"Hmm…let's see. Thousands of screaming, crying girls are here. Pesky reporters are badgering us from all sides and I'm incredibly nervous about the movie. I'm perfectly fine." Zayn sarcastically remarked.

I kissed him on the cheek. "It'll be fine. They'll love it."

"But will they love this?" he asked gesturing down to my ring on my left hand. My face dropped a bit.

"I don't know. But either way we're in this together."

"Thanks for that Perrie. Now let's go see the others." He said and went to go greet his bandmates.

They seemed to be a bit unfazed by the crowd and disorder. Then again they had to face it more than I had to. Harry's eyes had bags under them and he seemed more tired than usual. That poor lad, he was often labeled the 'womanizer' of the group and faced so much shade thrown at him.

Liam had a perfect mask on and was hand in hand with his new girlfriend, Sophia. I didn't know her well enough but I hoped that she would be good to him. I couldn't bear to see him heartbroken again. They both greeted me politely.

Louis and Niall on the other hand seemed to be absolutely happy about the turnout. "Hello Perrie." Louis greeted me and we gave each other kisses on each other's cheeks. "Did I ever mention that I helped pick that ring out with Zayn?"

I gasped in mock surprise. "Really! I thought it was himself…" I answered jokingly.

"Then you my darling must not know your fiancé as well as you thought you did." Louis cheekily retorted. We both knew that Zayn, even though had a perfect sense in fashion, had no eye for jewelry.

Soon a signal sounded and we all started walking into the theatre for the premiere. Management had arranged for a special balcony seat for all of their family and friends. I was happy that I could sit and watch the movie with Zayn's family. The lights dimmed as everyone got to their seats. Many cameras were filming the stage. An announcer came out of the curtains.

"Welcome to the premiere tonight," He declared from the stage. "And without further ado, here come the boys from…One Direction!" The crowd seemed to roar in excitement as they went upstage. I couldn't help but feel so proud of them and how far they gotten. A little bubble of excitement burst inside of me.

"Hello everybody." Harry said through his microphone. "This is a little something we've been working on for the past year. And if you haven't heard by now, This is Us." He pointed to the screen which started playing the opening previews. The crowd started cheering once again.

Zayn soon joined us on the balcony. "The crowd was amazing." He said as the first scenes played on.

"Shh!" I whispered," You're going to ruin the movie."

He shook his head. "I'm in the movie, silly."

I laughed and snuggled close to him. Soon I found myself laughing and crying with the crowd, like I was with the boys on the tour. It was like I was with Zayn when he was gone. I loved every bit of it.

But soon Zayn whispered in my ear," Hey we got to go if we want to get to the after-party before the crowd." The movie seemed close to ending. The traffic from the theatre would be terrible. I nodded and quickly said goodbye to his family.

Once outside, the reporters seemed to attack us with their questions. Camera flashes lit up the sky like artificial stars. We tried to ignore them and plow directly through the crowd. I felt a little claustrophobic as everyone started pushing closer despite the barriers.

"Perrie! Zayn! Can you look here?" a reporter shouted. We both ignored him and kept striding towards our car.

"Zayn! I love you so much." An anonymous fan-girl yelled from the crowd.

"Oh my gosh!" someone from the crowd yelled. "Is that an engagement ring?" Within a few seconds, camera lights shot at us like we were mere prey for the vultures. I felt like I was suffocating and almost started sweating despite the cool London evening.

But when I looked at Zayn, I could see that he was no more in frustration than I was. We were both faced with the paparazzi and will have to for years to come. But they would never know what was happening between me and him. They will never understand our relationship and why we stuck together through thick and thin. No one ever will.


End file.
